Javier Gurruchaga: “I've been alone for a long time. Too”

On stage, in the tumultuous street, he himself is a crowd. But Javier Gurruchaga (San Sebastián, 63 years), who lives in the historic center of Madrid’s Movida, is also a loner. Look around sadly, looking for friends who are gone. And it feels lonely. The man orchestra of the Mondragón Orchestra does not lose, however, the tenderness with which he defends himself from the bites he has suffered.

Question. When did you realize that life was serious?

Answer. Life is in I laughed. What haunts me is how short it is and how hard it is. All this time of the pandemic… I love life before anything else. But I can’t stop thinking about death. I’ve spent a lot of time alone. Too much time. I like to be alone, but so long it just scares me. And, on top of that, finding out about the deaths. Life is serious, and I have also taken it as a joke. That has allowed me to laugh, amuse people. Now one eye bothers me. It seems that you want to escape life. I want to live and I am afraid. Everything is a mixture of sensations.

P. What have you been afraid of at this time?

R. Of the deaths. The death of Popocho Ayestarán, so close; the death of Gerardo Vera, Joan Potau, Vicente Ameztoy, Paco Brines… I have become afraid of everything. This fucking pandemic. As a kid I lived anxieties, but these anxieties … Now I have returned to the stage, it has been wonderful, I have no longer had pain.

P. In what time of life has loneliness weighed the most?

R. Maybe at this age Although later I get home, I find the records, the books, the documentaries … Now I watch fewer films and more documentaries. In a very sad episode of my life, from which I came out successful , I read the complete works of Shakespeare. And then I did a musical, Quo vadis?, about Nero. The accidents of life, like the death of parents, leave you touched. I have been an only child, I have fought, I have wanted to live, with my five senses, with my clear conscience and solidarity.

The hatred of the different is repeating itself right under our noses ”

P. You lived the Transition, a good time for you.

R. Now we live repeating certain cliches. In the new generations there is a lot of ignorance regarding those times. Everything is banalized, everything is whitened. The reactions to what happens are sometimes childish, silly. It is a poorer time, because memory is also lost, and everything looks like things that we do not want to remember can happen again. I see everything worse, more is censored, self-censorship. That’s why I watch those documentaries, about our war, about the world war. They take it for granted, but everything has the risk of repeating itself.

It seems that life is trying to escape. I want to live and I am afraid ”

P. In some areas, freedoms, rights, there have been improvements.

R. Yes, but… In documentaries I see the Nazis, I see the pogroms, the persecutions of the intellectuals, the burning of books… And isn’t it true that now we see similar things? History is repeating itself, gentlemen, and right under our noses. That hatred of the different is repeated again. The terrible thing is that one is alone when he sees that supposedly democratic politicians whitewash that, they look the other way.

P. In this neighborhood of Chueca there was recently a Nazi demonstration against homosexuals.

R. He caught me having coffee next door. I was watching it and then I went to Gran Vía and followed my ball, although later I saw everything on the news. It’s terrible, it reminds me of the Night of the Long Knives. It gives me chills; life is so serious. That’s how I take it now, seriously, although there are also so many reasons to keep laughing.

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