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Three factors that “dirty” communication with employees

Improving communication to make it more effective and efficient is possible. But you have to be prepared to make a little change in your habits. There are tools that help in this regard, and one of them is called “GOD”, an acronym for the words generalize, omit, and distort.

According to Gonzalo Martnez de Miguel, CEO of INFOVA and director of the Executive Talent Accelerator, this tool was created by Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), in its quest to find a set of models, cognitive skills and techniques for act, think and feel. , effectively, in all aspects of life. To improve communication, NLP was looking for people who could communicate effectively. They wanted to check what they were doing and not doing, to find out the reason for their ability. Like Miguel’s Gonzalo Martnez, explains that “it was discovered that they did not perform three actions when they interacted with other people, while the others did”.

“These three actions are to generalize, to omit and to distort, and they are responsible for scrambling or dirtying our communication”, explains the director of INFOVA, who comments that if they are stopped, our ability to express ourselves is will improve and we will be better. understood.

Generalize: when we use words like always, never, every time, nobody, everyone …, we use generalizations that tend to exaggerate. “But rarely, something always is, or something never is,” he says. For example to say: “You are always late”, “You never listen to me”, “Every time I order a project from you, I have to finish it” is to be unfair and exaggerated. It also causes the interlocutor to feel assaulted and obligated to defend themselves, which causes ineffective dialogue. In contrast to generalization, we find the concrete, which would be to define exactly, for example, which days were late, which projects were not completed or when it was not listened to. Gonzalo Matnez de Miguel explains, “when you are in the use of the word you have to be precise, and if it is the interlocutor who generalizes, you have to ask him to specify, to explain exactly his problem. Inviting to clarify is more effective than to specify oneself the conversation of the other, to avoid that the other does not tend to bend by being right, and tries to defend himself “Omit: when something is counted, everything is not counted, we tend to omit information. Every day when we talk about the work of a collaborator or colleague, we are describing reality, but we are not describing everything. And we usually focus on the part that concerns us. For example, when communicating with a worker who has a very large job, in which there is a part that works and a part that does not, the focus is usually on the latter, who is the one who worries, omitting all that goes well. . In this way, the worker feels that a biased judgment is being made and is forced to end the speech or justify himself, which again makes communication ineffective. The antidote to omission is completeness. “So if you are into the usage of the word, you have to try not to leave it out, and just as you talk about what went wrong, acknowledge what is done well. If, on the other hand, you are the interlocutor who feels that biased information is being given, encourage the other to complete it, ”warns the director of INFOVA. Distort: ​​We distort reality with the help of augmentative and superlative adjectives, which end up changing reality. For example, if at the end of a meeting it is defined as horrible, when in reality what it has been is long, it is a distortion. If a project is complex, it is complex, not impossible. We usually do this type of description when things didn’t go the way we wanted. “This is also done when qualifying the work of an employee, and when the person responsible for this work hears it, he feels hurt and finds it unfair. And once again in the obligation to defend oneself, or in the obligation to explain oneself ”, comments Gonzalo Martnez de Miguel. The antidote to distortion is precision. In this sense, the expert recommends being precise. And repeat and paraphrase distorting words, when you’re not precise with us. And by listening to certain exaggerated expressions from other people’s mouths, we tend to correct and specify speech that seems excessive.

Finally, Miguel’s Gonzalo Martinez warns that “the human being creates reality through words, the way I describe reality also configures reality. And it is that we convince ourselves of what we say, so a good option is to use words that don’t distort the facts in a negative way, and to distort them in favor of oneself. Or what amounts to the same thing, not to soil the said reality by describing it and by unfairly distorting it and by playing against oneself ”.

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