Twelve key tips for managing the love between your employees
Psychologists at the Business Emotional Well-Being Platform offer the keys to learning about the pros and cons of office relationships, as well as how to deal with potential couple conflicts that affect the rest of the workforce.
BY RRHHDigital, 5:30 p.m. – April 12, 2021
When ailments and work relationships are mixed in any way, the chances of reaching conflict increase, especially in the case of an affair or starting a relationship with someone from the same work. The complexity of life and human relationships will make it impossible to stop it and we have to assume that emotional relationships make their way into the work environment as a result of coexistence and sometimes it is the emotional relationships themselves. which generate – by work association – a professional relationship.
When a company is relatively large, the normal thing is that it has developed not only a more or less explicit corporate culture, but also internal rules that govern employee behavior. This means that workers tend to adjust their behavior according to the general style they perceive in the team, the emotional climate that is instilled in the company, the values claimed by the company and, of course, the rules. imperative.
From the point of view of a company that does not have an established policy in this regard, the premises of the psychologists at ifeel, the online psychologists’ platform for employees, to manage romantic relationships at work can be summed up in that the company cannot be naive in the face of this reality, with its advantages and risks. On the contrary, it is necessary to count on the fact that at work, friction makes affection (and aversion, when the spark is gone), just as affection itself makes us seek friction. The company must act in a mature way so that it acts in favor of the functioning of all instead of torpedoing the task, according to iFeel:
Positive and receptive attitude of the employee. When they are satisfying, romantic and sexual relationships are extremely stimulating for the people who experience them. This can work in favor of their performance at work, especially when relationships occur with another member of the team, because being happier we have a more favorable and optimistic attitude towards the outside, we tend to be more satisfied with what is happening and what they are offering us, you can increase our level of kindness and generosity and also motivation. That is, in colloquial terms, everything tends to “look better to us” if we are in the midst of an emotional boom due to a relationship (emerging or in the process of shaping) that makes us particularly excited. Distraction The negative part is that your emotion level can be very high and you tend to become more distracted as our ability to focus decreases. If, on top of that, they still have the person they love around them, for example, the distraction tends not to diminish. You should assume that this is a temporary situation and that time will normalize your level of emotion. Separate the staff from the professional, if it gets to the point where it is necessary, it should be recommended to the couple. It can be done and learned on the basis of practice, without being too rigid. We recommend some self-control over conversation topics, so that these privacy issues stay out of the office. A relatively simple trick that can help separate roles and situate ourselves in the workplace is to call each other by first name when we are working, both to talk to each other in front of other people and to mention each other when we talk to each other. other people. , instead of using more informal names that we use in the private sphere. Avoid excessive or insufficient demands. Sometimes the couple may falsely amplify their interactions and requests with the other person. For example, it may happen that, so that third parties do not appear to favor each other, the treatment is toughened up and demanded more than it is due, turning the natural relationship of hierarchical subordination into one that is both abusive. in work and in life. staff. Other times, they may fall into the opposite direction, develop a model that is more complacent than they should be and that ends up being interpreted by others as a favoritism relationship. Both situations are really toxic to the general operation of the equipment. That is why we must be vigilant and avoid them. Participate in different projects or departments Sometimes the company is so small that it is inevitable to be involved in the same tasks, or the organization of the team makes separation inevitable. However, due to what can happen, it is advisable to avoid as much as possible that the couple are on the same team, trying to get involved in different projects and in charge of different supervisors. In this way, you can avoid interference from personal to professional. Take psychological and legal risks into account If the people involved belong to different hierarchical levels (one is subordinate to the other), it is essential to treat this aspect with particular attention. This means that, if the boss is the one who takes the initiative or shows the most “interest”, he must not let his affections obscure a crucial fact: we must be careful with the commitments we put our subordinates into. our position of power or authority. Otherwise, the risk is that the seduction will be contaminated and put pressure on the other party, who may feel pressured to respond beyond their wishes, or may feel uncomfortable or intimidated. When the approaches are not careful and are not well measured, the other party may experience them as harassment which, in addition to having more or less significant psychological consequences and damaging work dynamics, could lead to legal consequences. . Avoid prohibition: It is not appropriate to prohibit or punish the fact that romantic relationships of any kind arise from time to time between workers, as being inevitable, they would take place in secret, which is not very beneficial for the well-being of the worker. . worker and, therefore, for the well-being of the company. It is better to be transparent: we are all adults and can tolerate this type of situation at work. Containment of expressions of affection However, we must remember that we are in the office to work and that it is important for all of us to take into account that our behavior influences the work of others. For this reason, if there are already partners in the team, if there have been any in the past or in anticipation of their emergence in the future, the workers must have clear minimums on how to integrate this situation in the working environment. Treating partners with respect means that we cannot in any way express affection for them, even when we are in a romantic relationship with a partner. We cannot talk to each other, even favorably, or exchange any physical expressions of affection, as this could be uncomfortable for the particular person and for the whole team. If this happens, it could interfere with the general emotional climate. It is convenient to have a relaxed and polite but still cautious and non-invasive demeanor. Don’t tolerate discussions that don’t have to do with work. Discussions with vehemence, especially when they turn into fights, should be avoided at all costs and be seen by the person in charge of team coordination and / or human resources managers as a wake-up call to business cohesion. team and work environment. Disagreements, even the most bitter interpersonal conflicts, are human and we cannot always prevent them from arising. However, we can avoid expressing them openly with our behavior and in a way that violates the team environment. Establishing Internal Online Communication Standards Teleworking makes it difficult to establish flirtation and serious romantic relationships between team members. However, internal communication still exists and you need to take care of it, even if it is online. In line with what we have already said, one should avoid – especially in group discussions – gossip about team members, openly flirting with someone, exchanging inappropriate verbal and visual content (for example, in which refers to gifs and icons) or these two teams the couple members use this internal communication channel to discuss their relationship problems. Workers’ benefit. Any decision taken in the sphere of couples or ex-partners must be carried out with their consent. If the two share the same coordinator or supervisor and he is aware that they are in a relationship, he can take this into account when bringing them together or separating them in a project, for example by asking them directly what they prefer. do, where they will. feel more comfortable and, of course, how they think their performance can be more effective. Also, if he knows your sentimental situation but not the rest of the team, he should be respectful with this information and allow interested parties to manage it, reminding them that the important thing is to be well while working (not only one both). Faced with a violent and unfriendly breakup. This is the worst possible scenario and the company needs to prepare for it. The mood of those involved will be affected, at least temporarily. This may be accompanied by an increase in susceptibility or sensitivity and a decrease in concentration, due to the predominance of emotional judgment over logical and rational judgment. We also need to be mindful of how this affects group dynamics within the team, as there may be conflicts of loyalty when aligning with one, the other, or both. Patience and empathy with two people who find themselves in this situation are two good antidotes to this conflict. Gradually, they will have to learn to separate the conflict from the sentimental relationship from the rest, in order to begin to establish a correct professional relationship, even if it is neither friendly nor affectionate.
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